I was on my way to a party where I
was just gonna pop in for 5 minutes, to snob it and leave, but I got this call
from an old mate who happened to be in town that day. He wanted to see me for a
pint and a chat in thirty minutes. I was just around the corner from the party
but I decided to turn around since I actually had a valid agenda now.
On the way to the pub, where I was
supposed to meet my mate, I started thinking about myself, like, what kind of a
person am I? What is my purpose in life? Only pausing to follow any noteable piece of ass or tits
that may have been passing by but resuming my deep thinking promptly after the goodies left the field of my visual perception.
Anyhow, it was quiet a long walk and
I soon got bored of being philosophical so I started thinking about funny
shit. That too, was over pretty soon though as I had almost approached the pub and now had
to allocate mental resources on practical staff like”find optimal route to pub
interior”, “open pub door”, “perform facial pattern recognition and identify
mate”.
That all went through as planned and
in no-time me and mate were sitting on the pub table drinking beer. We agreed
that life is tough but that all – in –all we are both doing well. We both suggested
that there is room for improvement and took turns laying out some general plans
and ideas about ending the daily toil. Then we cracked a few jokes and laughed
a bit until it was beginning to show that it was time to go home as re-bonding would
only go so far.
Right at that time my mate said that
he had something important to tell me. I was a bit tipsy so I could not tune in
right away to the seriousness that his voice was carrying. “Oh yeah?
What? You ‘re not gay are you?” I said giggling.
“No” he said, “I am not gay. But I
am the Anti-Christ, Satan’s own seed sent here to destroy anything that is good
about humanity and spread decay and evil throughout this pathetic
civilization”.
“I couln’t agree with you more” I
said, but I paid no further attention because obviously I thought he was
joking. Then I noticed his eyes. There was something very magnetic about them.
I became absorbed into a cinematic display of future events that was unfolding on
his retinas.
I saw rivers of blood and piles of
corpses so tall that they would cast their shadows over entire continents, filling up planets, galaxies and clusters of galaxies and eventually occupying the whole
universe to such density that another universe would split off into the
multiverse and go on to breed other evil universes.
I saw billions of people consumed by
volcanic winter and radioactive residue in pitta bread that was the last
remaining antitode to the massacre of innocent infants (and child-goats).
I saw the entire multiverse engulfed
by Lucifer and its every corner transformed into Satan's dominion, serving
his never-ending lust for decayed flesh, thick crusts of dried blood and finely chopped intestines mixed with crushed bone powder, dipped in boiled brains and served with a glass of aged vomit , all 100% human of course.
“HAHA” I laughed at all this and
took another sip from my pint. “I don’t know man, this is some crazy shit” I
said. “So what do you think I should do?” he asked me. “Well”, I said, “I mean,
go for it…Why not? Fuck these bitches… You reap what you sow right?”
“Yeah, that’s what my dad says” he
replied with a tone of melancholy in his voice “He says that I should fulfil my destiny as the Anti-christ and facilitate the manifestation of the Αpocalypse but
I’d quiet like to become an aviation engineer instead…I am very enthusiastic about airplanes and I spend most of my
free time studying such topics as aviation engineering and aerodynamics”
“Well, fuck me, I would have never guessed…”
“Yeah, I use my day job to finance
an evening course I am taking…I am very close to receiving a degree… I already
have some offers for internships that can lead to long-term employment in the
aviation industry”
“I can see where you are coming from
mate” I said.
But I really could not. He was divided between enslaving the
world in evil and becoming an aviation engineer. I felt somewhat disengaged from
the reality he was experiencing; meaning that I sensed a great distance between our subjective perception of
reality. The size of this distance shocked me.
I felt that, for the sake of
whatever sanity I had, I needed to walk away and never talk to this person
again. I summoned every last piece of seriousness inside of me and finally mumbled out these
words:
“Look, I think you are a horrible
person, I never want to see you again or have anything to do with you”.
Then I stood up and walked away; and I never saw him again.
I often think back upon that day and
wonder how I found it in my heart to speak out those hard words. I feel
sorry, in a way, but I do not regret it. I have been able to maintain a firm grasp on reality and become a productive member of
society in the years following after the incident. I am not sure if I would have managed had I been caught up in the
situation that my mate was describing.
In any case, I wish him well. The
world may have lost an Anti-christ but at least I know that there is a passionate aviation engineer out there, striving to improve everyone’s aviation experience
and who knows, maybe even redefine aviation itself and go on to colonise space
and even possibly…Enslave it? Fuck...
